I’ve been thinking a lot lately about friendships and relationships lately and how it’s kind of weird how they change as we get older. I feel like both come in waves- there are “seasons”, I guess. It didn’t really feel like that back in my 20’s. Or at least I wasn’t as aware of it. If we want to keep, and build, lasting/important relationships with the people we care about- it requires EFFORT.

Say it with me- E F F O R T.

Friendships felt like they would never change. You’d have your best friends in your life forever, through thick and thin. But as we’ve gotten older, priorities change, people grow up (and change) and things just start to feel different. Where you once spent every weekend with girlfriends, going out and drinking or partying until 2 or 3am, it’s now rare to get together with your girls once a month. Everyone is busy, has their own shit going on, their own highs and lows, their own significant others, etc. And we ALL have those friends that don’t text you back, don’t return a phone call, WAIT for you to reach out first… It’s HARD to make time for the people you care about as you get older. But if you WANT TO, YOU WILL. And if they want to, they will.

For me, it’s become difficult to make time for ALL of it. I’m working full time, I’ve got my relationship to tend to, I’m working on Worship Worthy as much as I can, and it’s a challenge to juggle it all. I never felt that way until the last few years. On the week nights, I want to come home and relax. And on the weekends, I want to get a bunch of shit done that didn’t happen during the week. (And also to take ample time to be a total introvert and not leave my house…but that’s another topic for another time).

I’ve realized as of lately, the saying “the grass is greener where you water it”, is 100% true. The friendships that I have that have lasted for years and years are because I put in the time. My relationship with Rob only flourishes when I make the effort, purposefully. I can’t be upset that a friend hasn’t asked me to go out for a girls night when I haven’t extended an invite myself. I think it’s normal as humans to be selfish and think, “why aren’t they coming to me?” but what we really need to do is look in the mirror and ask ourselves if we’re being the best friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister, that we can be. Are we putting the effort out that we’re expecting in return.

Bottom line- you get back what you put out into the world. 

Just a little food for thought. Thanks for reading and I hope this was insightful, meaningful, or maybe just interesting.

XO, Ali

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